Slowmotion Fast forward
by Phoenyx
Summary: Bobby's thoughts after Alkali lake. Please review!


Hi people. Tis... me. Disclaimer: Same old, same old. I don't own the X-men, blah blah blah. ;;Sigh.::  
  
The POV is Bobby's. His thoughts after Alkali Lake. Please review!!  
  
It finally happened. The mansion was attacked; overrun by Striker's dogs. The only place I had to call home.  
Ok, so that's not true. I had a home. A pretty good one at that. Of course, my parents weren't too thrilled about the whole mutant gene thing, but hey... it was a home. It was good enough while it lasted. I told them outright too... about my powers. Though I probably shouldn't have. You could see the regret in both of my parents eyes. Regret of sending me to school, regret of letting me visit, of having a second son in the first place. Yeah, it's harsh, but it's true. You could tell in the way my dad's eyes flashed with anger and resentment when I froze the tea in my mom's cup. My mom herself, her whole face dropped in shock. And Ronnie... he ran. And deep down I know I can't blame him.  
So now, the mansion is all I have to call home. There's no other place I know of that will accept me as is with open arms, not even my own house. They're two different words now, house and home. House is where you grow up, where you're raised, where your family is. Home is where you're actually loved.  
It's been over a week now, since that little incident at Alkali Lake. Since we were over taken by Striker and his obvious intent to kill. Shortly after that, all of us here realized that the mansion isn't safe anymore. And something tells me that it never was.  
It seemed safe, the school; with its humble wooden entrance, cozy dorm rooms and friendly teachers. Even the students had strong ties with each other, despite the almost outrageous population. And we all felt as if we belonged there, that we were well cared for. Until that night, when the soldiers filed in through the windows; when Jean died; that day when John left.  
Jean's death hurt everyone. Especially Scott and Logan... the two loved her more than life itself. Of course it hurt Logan to see her with Scott, but he seemed to take it fairly well. But then she died. And all- powerful, tough, badass Logan... broke. If that's the right word. We didn't see him for the longest time; he was always out in a bar or locked up in his room. Rogue got real worried, no doubt she still is, and went up to check on him a couple of times. It's not real surprising that he never once opened the door. Scott, if anything, was worse. He was in his room too... sometimes I'd hear him crying in the dead of night. It hurt all of us to see him like that; our fearless leader was hurt like hell and there wasn't a damn thing any of us could do about it. And when I think about it now, how they both saw the love of their life die before their very eyes, it's got to shred your insides like the blade of a dull knife. I'd be worse off if that happened to Rogue.  
And then, to make matters worse, John left. That wasn't real surprising either. He'd talked about leaving a lot; not directly, no, but every now and then you'd hear him comment on how he'd rather be somewhere else, or how he didn't want to stay at the school in the first place. It must have been hard for him, having no family. I caught him staring at my family pictures at my house once, flicking his lighter open and closed. There was more than just anger in his eyes... there were pools of pain so deep they had no bottom. Regret swirled with jealousy and sorrow... all within his once lively green irises. He used to be real happy... he used to be the joker, the cocky, arrogant fool in the group. He always brought the laughter to tears, the light to a serious mood. But gradually, he became darker. Not evil, no, but darker. Sadder, deeper, quieter. I don't think anyone else noticed it, but he went from being the class clown to practically the mute of the school.  
So he left. Probably willingly. The last time I ever saw him was that day he left the plane at Alkali Lake. I knew I should have gone with him. I shouldn't have let him go alone. I used to break all the rules with him a while ago; we used to pull pranks on all the people we hated, and talked back to the teachers... I don't think there was a day we weren't in detention together. But something changed. In me, and in him. I became more involved, more "righteous," you could say. He became more detached, distant... even cold. John became cold.  
And suddenly everything seemed to slow down and speed up at the same time. The school had been invaded, Jean had died, and John betrayed us. Rumors spilled throughout the mansion, creeping into every corner, seeping out of conversations, spreading like wild fire from student to student. People changed; the loud ones became quiet, the childish ones quickly matured, the funny ones became serious... all because of one stupid night that had to go wrong. Life as I know it is completely different now.  
And I have to deal with it.  
  
--Phoenyx 


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